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Bleach 298: Don’t go killing me off

Bleach episode 298 review

For filler episodes, this one is a doozy. The Soul Society, under the direction of Nanao Ise, decides that they need to make movies in order to help the sagging Seireitei economy. As Ernie Johnson so eloquently said, I kid you not.

So then Ichigo has to go make a movie with his pals, and that requires a whole lot of tomfoolery. Ichigo gets beat up, attacked, knocked around, and altogether just bullied, in an attempt to make an entertaining movie. I’d be wasting your time telling you the plot of this episode, because this is just made for laughs. The fourth wall is completely smashed and torn down. You either choose to laugh along or you skip to the next episode. Oh, that’s filler too? Well, in any case, this is one of those Bleach episodes that makes absolutely zero sense, there for the entire point of eating up time… and yet it works, because it is so funny. Bonus points to Retsu Unohana for stealing the show in the early scenes, but ultimately I’m going with…

Best girl of the episode: Nanao (7) (her antics at the beginning of the episode while establishing it as a complete farce were unforgettable)

Episode rating: 7/10

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Bleach 297: I Can See for Miles and Miles

Bleach episode 297 review

Before we can get to Isshin vs. Aizen or something else juicier, GIn Ichimaru reminds us that he’s still alive and he needs to die at some point. His Zanpakuto can reach for miles and miles. It can reach for miles and miles. It can reach for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles. You get the picture. Thirteen kilometers, which equals eight miles. So, he destroys pretty much everything in sight, but who cares, because it’s all fake anyway!

So, Gin and Ichigo are at it, and right when this battle’s about to get good, Kisuke Urahara appears out of nowhere. That will become notable once we’ve reached the bowling episode. Bowling, you say? Well, what’s a perfect score in bowling? That’s the clue to when Kisuke is going to attack. But for now, it’s filler, filler night, and no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike.

Spoiler: If you haven’t figured it out yet, Kisuke attacks in episode 300, and until then we’ve got filler.

Best girl of the episode: Rangiku (35) (she appears for a few seconds in this episode, which is a few seconds more than any other girl)

Episode rating: 7/10

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Bleach 296: Retconning all of Bleach

Bleach episode 296 review

Aizen reveals that absolutely everything that has happened in Bleach history has been designed to happen by him. Sorry, but I’m not buying it. If he really was controlling everything like a Doflamingo puppet, he did a terrible job, because Ichigo came close to dying so many times that all it really took was a couple things to happen here and there and his whole empire would have come crashing down. Seriously, what happens if Byakuya decides just to finish off Ichigo the first time they meet? Then Aizen’s plan is completely ruined and none of this ever happens. Oh, Aizen was controlling Byakuya too?

No, this is just a retcon, plain and simple. We needed an excuse for why Aizen’s plan has had so many mistakes, so we turn it into a story of how Aizen had everything planned out the whole time. It’s so ridiculous that it’s maddening. Does he take us for idiots?

Also, Ichigo’s response is very similar to when Darth Vader told Luke, “No. I am your father.” Which is ironic because who comes out to save Ichigo but… his father! Unfortunately, we already knew he was a Soul Reaper, which completely ruins this moment because Ichigo’s the only one who didn’t know, and then it’s made even worse by the fact that Ichigo just goes along with it as if he figured that was the case from the beginning.

Despite all my complaints, this was still a good episode, though I’ve got to wonder, what parts of Bleach actually happened and what parts were retconned away? Because I’m not buying the Doflamingo puppetry excuse from Aizen. And even if Aizen planned absolutely everything from episode 1…

… he’s an absolute idiot.

Best girl of the episode: Rukia (55) (getting some cheap wins to pad her lead, if only because she’s the only girl I remember appearing in this episode)

Episode rating: 7/10

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Bleach 295: The Clip Show

Bleach episode 295 review

Aizen reveals that all of Ichigo’s adventures up to this point were all part of his master plan. Okay, sounds good. But what if I told you that this was just an excuse to turn this episode into a clip show? Seriously, all this was was a clip show of Ichigo’s past fights, with Aizen looking on. Since the show didn’t expend any energy making this episode (save for some fourth wall goodness after the credits), I’m not wasting my energy reviewing it.

Best girl of the episode: Rukia (54) (for appearing the most in the clips… actually, she was probably the only female to appear!)

Episode rating: 2/10