Sailor Moon R episode 59 review

A lot of stuff to talk about here, besides the tentacles. First, the Sailor Failures™ completely fail at their job of saving Usagi. Then the Makai Tree takes on a life of its own, attacking Usagi and Mamoru. Eventually, the Makai Tree attacks Usagi but she risks her life to save Mamoru, and then Ail and An learn the lesson of true love. It comes without packages, it comes without tags, it comes without something something boxes and bags. An then risks her life to save Ail, and then the Makai Tree starts talking.

The Makai Tree reveals that all it wanted all this time was love. All you need is love, right? And Ail and An loving each other – as brother and sister, mind you – is what it needed. So, after Sailor Moon defeats it and finds out the true identity of Moonlight Knight (you’ll be shocked to find out who it is, I tell you, absolutely shocked!), then the Makai Tree is reduced to a sapling. Ail and An recover from their injuries, then take the sapling and vow to plant it on another planet. They don’t want to lose your love tonight.

I hate to say this is a good episode despite many stupid things, but it is a good episode. The only problem I see is that the Sailor Failures™ were so useless that they might as well not have even been there. Could we get Sailor Uranus and Neptune in here, please? We need some better assistants to Sailor Moon.

Best Sailor Guardian of the episode: Moon (3)

Episode rating: 7/10

Sailor Moon R episode 58 review

Natsumi (An) and Seijuro (Ail) keep pursuing Mamoru and Usagi, respectively, until they stop coming to school. Usagi goes to their house with the intention of getting them back to school, but they refuse. Then there’s this weird tree branch called the “Makai Tree” that sucks out the energy of anything it touches. Usagi found that while snooping around their house in the spot where she was told not to visit. And Usagi predictably ends up trapped by the Makai Tree. In other words, tentacle scenes like the one above. If you were feeling shortchanged on fanservice, there’s some for you.

Does my description of the episode sound disjointed and nonsensical? Well, you can probably guess why, but I’ll say it anyway: this episode was disjointed and nonsensical. It made very little sense as it went on, yet at least Usagi’s stupidity provided for some levity amongst such bizarre and flat-out dumb plot lines. This one didn’t have an ending; it’s a “to be continued” type with the Sailor Guardians trying to save Usagi from the fanservicey tentacles. I can only hope the second episode isn’t as stupid as the first.

Best Sailor Guardian of the episode: Jupiter (4) (can’t go with Moon despite her winning the day, because she never actually transformed in this episode, so I’ll go with the one who was second-most entertaining)

Episode rating: 4/10

Sailor Moon R episode 57 review

This episode bizarrely starts in the middle of a Sailor Guardians battle, and they finish off the battle, then go running to school. Usagi is late and causes a ruckus, and her teacher (fresh off having relationship problems with her man) punishes her for it and makes her stay after class. Natsumi stays too, and then we get this insane storyline of Ail and An both using the Monster of the Week for different purposes, but the same goal: split up Mamoru and Usagi, even though they’re not even really together.

I wrote this up and forgot to explain the plot, so here goes: Usagi and Natsumi stay after class for detention, and every time Usagi looks the other way, Natsumi tries to kill her. Meanwhile, Ail keeps using the “cardian” to try to attack Mamoru, but it goes and does its own thing. Eventually, the other Guardians team up to beat the “cardian,” then Usagi finally gets involved when it shows up at her school. Why is she still there? Her teacher got a call from her love and they went off on a date!

The best part of this episode comes when the girls are at a movie, and they have to get going to fight. Rei stalls by saying that they’re getting to the best part of the movie, but reluctantly leaves. Then Luna and Artemis get zipped up in a bag and Minako takes them away! I wish there was more substance to this episode than that humorous part, but there isn’t, so we’ll just have to live with Rei acting as immature as Usagi, and skating by because, well, she’s Rei and she is the true star of this show.

Best Sailor Guardian of the episode: Mars (4)

Episode rating: 6/10

Sailor Moon R episode 56 review

In this episode, there’s a Snow White play coming up, and all the girls fight over who’s gonna be Snow White. This brings us to the hilarious line that Makoto gives, that she should because she has the biggest boobs. Of course, in the original dub, that line was never heard. Instead, Makoto claimed to be “the one with the most talent.” Makoto brags about her looks at least two, if not three times in this episode. She is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters.

The whole thing is a ruse for An to try to steal a kiss from Mamoru, yet it never happens. Then the Monster of the Week shows up, and the Sailor Guardians are forced to battle it while on stage. Predictably, everyone thinks it’s part of the show and cheers loudly. There’s nothing wrong with this trope, but The Three Stooges did it so well 90 years ago that I wonder if its shelf life might be up by now. In any case, a funny but pointless episode.

Best Sailor Guardian of the episode: Jupiter (3)

Episode rating: 7/10