Bleach episode 314 review

In one of the stupidest episodes in Bleach history, Kon gets involved with a girl who has a jilted lover, and he gets involved in their relationship. Cue Hollows showing up, and there, that’s an episode. It really felt like the series was stalling for time.

The only redeeming factor in this “so bad it’s good” episode is the scene of the jilted lover apologizing to the girl in the exact same manner twice in the same episode, which at least provides a little bit of humor to what was a waste of my 22 minutes… and your 22 seconds.

Best girl of the episode: Rukia (59) (magic # is 29 to clinch the top spot; magic # is 1 per Rukia win and 1 per Orihime loss)

Episode rating: 3/10

Bleach episode 313 review

Ichigo & Renji meet a guy named Seizo who acts as a “gofer” for all of Squad 11. Yumichika reveals that Seizo was once a good swordsman, but then he lost his powers in a fight trying to help Ikkaku. No word on whether that was by Aizen’s design. Anyway, Ichigo gives him a pep talk, and then they win a fight against Hollows. Happy happy joy joy.

This episode was notable for Ichigo acting way out of character and going to great lengths to try to help Seizo gain his confidence, including Ichigo setting up a cleaning contest which Ichigo has no chance at winning. An altogether forgettable episode that even the writers of the episode most likely forgot that they even wrote it.

Best girl of the episode: Rangiku (39) (thankfully she showed up in “The Illustrated Guide to Soul Reapers” so I wouldn’t have to call this a “no contest)

Episode rating: 3/10

Bleach episode 312 review

“Does it amuse you to think of me living out the rest of my life as a dreary man in a tedious job?”

That’s what Marechiyo Omaeda has: a tedious job. But when he helps out some random kids in the Rukon District, he fibs and tells them that he’s a Captain. That of course backfires, because the kids make their way to the Seireitei and want to meet their Captain hero. As you’d expect, that leads to a bunch of humor, and then a sad moment when the kids learned the hard way “never meet your heroes,” but it at least ends on a positive note…

…at which point Soi Fon goes and kicks Omaeda’s ass at Yoruichi’s request.

It may have been a filler episode, and a very fillery filler episode at that. But watching Omaeda’s lie get bigger and bigger was a fun exercise. By the time it was over, you knew that Soi Fon was going to have it in for him. You know, didn’t I say earlier that I no longer shipped him and Soi Fon? Check that, I’m shipping them again.

Best girl of the episode: Soi Fon (31) (pretty much wrapping up fourth place)

Episode rating: 8/10

Bleach episode 311 review

Kon (the Karakuraizer) is in the middle of rescuing a girl, when a mysterious man wearing a cape appears and beats the Hollow in front of him, causing the girl to become enamored with him, a man named Michel. Kon then goes back to Urahara Shop, where Tatsuki, Chizuru, Keigo, and Ururu are all wearing capes and all big Michel fans. In addition, Chizuru is not into Orihime and actually attracted to men! What the hell is going on out here?

It turns out, Michel sent out all those capes to hypnotize everyone. Basically, he became the new Aizen. And it’s up to Kon, or the Karakuraizer, to beat him. He does, then everyone (including Chizuru) goes back to normal.

I only wish the episode was as good as I just explained it. Sure, it’s got some funny moments to it, but this is about as fillery as a filler can filler.

Best girl of the episode: Chizuru (4)

Episode rating: 4/10