Bleach episode 142 review

Let’s get this out of the way: Old Man Yamamoto is a terrible, terrible Head Captain. We know this for certain now that he’s dead thanks to his own stupidity, but this episode proved that the guy was going headlong for destruction long, long ago.

He claims that Orihime went away to Hueco Mundo on her own volition. Seriously? That’s just flat-out gaslighting. I’m sure UlquiHime shippers – shame on all of you – took that as “see, Orihime wanted to go with Ulquiorra!! It’s love at first sight!!” But this is just gaslighting from Yamamoto. Oh, and did you see how mad Ichigo got? You can’t tell me he doesn’t have feelings for Orihime after the anger he put on display in this episode.

Old Man Yama further gaslights Ichigo by calling back all his Soul Reapers to protect the Soul Society. Yeah, like a lot of good that’ll do after what just happened 100 episodes ago. Plus, he won’t let anyone go to Hueco Mundo, not even Ichigo, because he views Orihime as a “traitor.” Next thing you know, the guy’s going to tell us that there are five lights when in reality…

THERE! ARE! FOUR! LIGHTS!

Tatsuki confronts Ichigo about the missing Orihime, then Ichigo sneaks off to Mr. Hat & Clogs, who already has prepared for Ichigo to go rogue – alongside Chad and Uryu. Just call them, “Rogue Three.” Or something of the sort, I don’t know. What, you mean to tell me there might be someone else coming along, too?

Great episode, especially because it proves to the world that A) Ichigo definitely has feelings for Orihime even now, and B) Old Man Yama is an absolute idiot who deserved what he got in TYBW.

Best girl of the episode: Tatsuki (6)

Episode rating: 9/10

Bleach episode 141 review

Full disclosure: I had no idea what “halcyon days” meant the first time I watched this episode many moons ago. It wasn’t until I saw an article talking about “the halcyon days of the Clinton Administration” until I finally saw how the phrase was to be used.

This has the feeling of one of those “very special” episodes. You know how it is when you watch the series finale of a show that’s been on a long, long time, and the first thing they flash up there is the logo of the show? And there’s no music to start the show, it just begins. That’s the way this one felt, even though there was a musical opening, and there was tomfoolery with Yumichika, as well as Keigo.

Basically, Orihime for some inexplicable reason decides that she’s going to go along with Ulquiorra’s ruse of a plan and go with him. IchiRuki fans rejoice; this is Stockholm Syndrome and she and Ulquiorra are going to fall in love, right? Wrong. I’ll spent the next few months proving to you why Ulquiorra never had a hint of interest in Orihime and vice versa. Yes, I am vindictive.

And I know the IchiRuki fans refuse to admit that this episode proves IchiHime, because it’s all one-sided. Which makes zero sense, because this show does a clip-show thing where it shows all the times Ichigo stood up for Orihime. Clearly Ichigo cared about Orihime; why else would she fall in love with him? The fact that Orihime stops short of kissing him is also proof of IchiHime, because it’s the sign that the kiss will happen once the two are in a better situation.

So, Orihime confesses her love for Ichigo – “Five Lifetimes, One Love.” She now will go away to be tortured, tormented, and imprisoned for the next how many episodes. But one thing’s for sure: IchiHime is soon to be canon, and the IchiRuki/UlquiHime gang can’t do anything about it.

Best girl of the episode: Orihime (25) (of course)

Episode rating: 10/10

Bleach episode 140 review

You might not know some of the terminology I use about Bleach. The first one is “WHAT,” which is when a character is surprised and lets out a big “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?” This episode had several instances where a “WHAT” would have worked, but surprisingly not given by the characters in question.

The second term is “SAVES.” It’s not a hockey save, though. It’s when a character is about to be killed, and at that very moment someone appears from off screen to stop the attack. This happened about six times in this episode. Urahara SAVED Rangiku, Urahara SAVED himself, Toshiro SAVED Rangiku, Rukia SAVED Ichigo, Shinji SAVED Rukia, and Ulquiorra SAVED Shinji.

Obviously, when something like that happens that many times in the same episode, it gets a little tiresome. It’s a bit annoying, to say the least. How many times does it need to happen before you start rolling your eyes with each new SAVE? I’m not sure, but a few more times and I’ll be there.

But all that matters now is that we’ve come to that poignant episode tomorrow where Orihime will confess her love to Ichigo. I’ll try to hold back my tears as best I can.

Best girl of the episode: Rangiku (21)

Episode rating: 7/10

Bleach episode 139 review

I am vindictive. I have come to keep the receipts of all those who thought Orihime would somehow, some way, end up with Ulquiorra. This episode proves my point quite well. When Orihime is in between worlds, Ulquiorra appears and threatens Orihime’s friends. His bargain? If she goes with him, then he’ll spare her friends. Orihime, being naive and a bit stupid, believes him. And thus begins the capture.

But Ulquiorra comes off not as some sort of possible lover but rather as that of a creep. “Come with me, little girl,” he says, in the fashion of someone who would prey on innocent women. It’s disgusting to me that anyone would equate that with some sort of romance between the two. If you are someone who supports this ship, you need to repent and “reject” (pun intended) this sickening ship altogether.

Oh, and tentacles. You can guess pretty easily who gets squeezed by Luppi’s tentacles. Here’s a hint: she’s been gaining on Orihime in the “best girl” race. But Orihime is going to pull a little bit away from her today. Mr. Hat & Clogs has come to take on Luppi; Ichigo tried to kill Grimmjow in 11 seconds (in what actually lasted closer to 11 minutes) but failed, so he’s in trouble.

All of that is to say: Ulquihime sucks as a ship. You should be ashamed of yourself if you support it.

Best girl of the episode: Orihime (24)

Episode rating: 7/10