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Bleach 282: Jar Jar Hiyori

Bleach episode 282 review

It is painfully clear at this point that Hiyori is practically the Jar Jar Binks of Bleach. I hate comparing Jar Jar to her, because I don’t think there’s any character from somewhere else that could compare with Hiyori’s annoyingness. She’s like nails on a chalkboard. Every time she speaks, I want to smash my computer screen and burn my headphones. And what, now they’re trying to ship her with Toshiro? I’d rather drink bleach than watch Bleach if they got together.

Meanwhile, Starrk fights two Visoreds whom I don’t care about and don’t know their names. I am actively rooting for one or both of them to die. Starrk actually is a real character, I can root for him and Lilynette Gingerbuck. I can’t root for these annoying Visoreds who just showed up and turned into the heroes out of the blue. Oh, by the way, where are any of the other Soul Reapers? It’s as if they all packed things up and went back to the Soul Society. You don’t see any of them besides Toshiro in this episode. What a weird turn of events. No, I’m not liking this.

Best girl of the episode: Lisa (4) (slightly, with the only competitor being Lilynette’s voice)

Episode rating: 5/10

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Bleach 281: Long Live the King

Bleach episode 281 review

In typical Bleach fashion, we get a really sad flashback about ten seconds before a character dies. In this case, it’s Barragan, who is so delusional that even in death he’s still bragging about how great he is. But he does die, which is the key here, because I had the feeling he was going to keep cheating death (already did at least once this episode) but finally we’re free of his bragging.

The disappointing thing is that Soi Fon didn’t get the honor of killing him; rather, the Fat One got to do that. Man, do I hate these Visoreds. They are the scourge of Bleach, the worst characters in the entire show. And it’s truly sad that they keep on surviving in TYBW while the good characters get killed off. But now we’ve got to sit through a bunch of battles where they’re going to inevitably run. What did Tite Kubo see in these characters that he made them the stars of his show?

Best girl of the episode: Soi Fon (27)

Episode rating: 6/10

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Bleach 280: Riders in the Sky

Bleach episode 280 review

First, we get a heavy dose of Hiyori, which is enough to make me want to cut my ears off (“hey, did that sweater have a pink bow?”). But once she’s finished with her stupidity, we get a bit of a 3-on-1 battle with her, Toshiro, and Lisa all going at it against Harribel. Meanwhile, 69 Guy decides he wants to risk his own recovery by jumping right into battle against Kaname Tosen.

The real meat of this episode comes in the fight against Barragan. The fat Visored (who I’ll refer to now on as “The Fat One”) joins Soi Fon to attack Barragan. Soi Fon isn’t all that ready to put her life in his hands, but then she gets an opening when The Fat One mentions that he knows her Bankai. The only way he could know, Soi Fon figures, is via Kisuke Urahara… “That man never ceases to annoy me,” she says. So, she makes a deal with the Fat One. She will lend the Fat One her Bankai, and in exchange the Fat One will trap Kisuke for a month. The Fat One accepts, then they send off a blast at Barragan… who doesn’t die. So much for all that.

An interesting episode that loses its flavor when we find out that Soi Fon basically blew her Bankai up for nothing.

Best girl of the episode: Soi Fon (26) (what, did you really think I was going to give Hiyori her first win?)

Episode rating: 7/10

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Bleach 279: Maschera

Bleach episode 279 review

The Visoreds all show up, and they want revenge… on Aizen, not on the Soul Reapers who discarded of them many moons ago. So, they go and fight alongside the Soul Reapers, with each one of them getting maybe two lines in. And we get a whole lot of Menos to appear, that way they have something to do. We’ve got to leave the heavy lifting to Ichigo.

Komamura goes to face Tosen, which is actually pretty cool, because now the series has come full circle, after the two of them fought together on the same side back in the Soul Society arc. And Toshiro gets some help in his battle against Harribel. As much as I hate Hiyori, the other Visoreds weren’t all that bad in this episode, so I’ll give them a reprieve for now.

Also, no more “Bark Bark” at the end of each episode. Stay beautiful!

Best girl of the episode: Lisa (3)

Episode rating: 7/10